


The Inside of an Ember

by Emily_F6



Category: The Outsiders - All Media Types, The Outsiders - S. E. Hinton
Genre: Gen
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-02-10
Updated: 2018-02-10
Packaged: 2019-03-16 09:40:04
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 4
Words: 15,774
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13633668
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Emily_F6/pseuds/Emily_F6
Summary: The church was on fire. The kids were out, but Johnny was still inside. Ponyboy was desperate to save his friend, no matter the cost.





	1. Inside

**Inside**

It was too hot. This was a bad idea. Darry was going to kill me. Soda too. Maybe Two-Bit. The thoughts flashed by as I held the little boy in my arms, his face hidden in my shoulder. The crackling of the wood so loud I could barely hear Dally yelling at me to get the hell out of that church, using some words I didn't think the kid was old enough to be hearing. The boy held my neck so tight I couldn't hardly breathe, eyes huge as he looked around...or maybe it was the smoke making it so hard to breathe. The kid was crying as I moved as quickly as I could through the burning church. "It's okay. We're gonna get you out." I told him, half yelling over the fire and patting his back. Dodging a pew that had caught fire and was turning to ash, I raced toward the window where I could see Dally at the window.

We'd been out to lunch with Dally, and Johnny had decided that we were gonna go home. He was gonna turn himself in…I didn't know if it was a good idea, but he seemed pretty determined and I guess it was his choice. We'd been in the parking lot at Dairy Queen, me in the backseat as we all ate barbeque sandwiches that Dal had bought us. I hadn't really thought about what would happen after Dally left us. I mean, Johnny had stabbed someone. No one was going to forget that. So I didn't much blame him for wanting to go back and get it over. Besides, I knew he missed the guys. Maybe even his parents, even though I doubted it. And I missed Soda. I knew he was worried. He, at least, would be glad to have me home. Maybe Two-Bit too.

I still didn't know how things were going to work out with Darry. Dally had mentioned that he was worried, but I figured he'd go from worried to mad real quick once he got ahold of me. I'd been pretty sure he hadn't wanted me around for a while...him hitting me had just confirmed it. I tried to tell myself I didn't care, but I knew I was lying. It hurt. He was my big brother and he didn't want me around. And Sodapop...surely he'd be mad too. I'd run off for a week, not even able to tell him I was okay. But I had a feeling he'd forgive me faster than Darry would.

Then we'd come back to the church and it was all a blur from there. The people standing outside, pointing at the building that was going up in flames. No way an old abandoned church just caught fire on its own. Johnny or me must have dropped a cigarette. We'd set the church on fire. And then they'd told us about the kids, and I'd just started running, not realizing that Johnny was behind me until I was climbing through the window, glancing back to find Dally with his hands in his hair, shaking his head, eyes huge and terrified. I'd never seen Dally look so scared before.

We found the kids in the back and, after being bitten by one, I'd managed to grab her, running the little girl to the door and handing her off to Dally who had appeared at a window, screaming at me the whole time. Johnny and I had taken turns, getting the little six-year-olds to Dallas who would grab one and drop them on the grass, usually grimacing in the process. He wasn't a huge fan of kids, but even he wouldn't let them burn to death in a church. One had tried to cling to him and he'd practically kicked her off before the guy who'd apparently been chaperoning them had grabbed her.

"Here. Grab Dally. He's gonna get you out." I told the little boy, holding him out. Dally grabbed the last kid out of my arms, reaching out to grab me too. He had me half out of the building, his arm tight around my bicep, when I heard Johnny yell. I spun around, my heart in my throat as I saw the ceiling beam start to come down...when I saw him running toward us. It was gonna fall on him. "Come on! Ponyboy, now!" Dally was tugging on me, screaming something else, but all I saw was Johnny. I couldn't let this happen. I couldn't let him die because of me. I'd run into the building...I'd dragged him into this! I'd been the last one smoking before we'd left.

I climbed back through the window, throwing my elbow back when Dally tried to stop me. I guess he let go...I wasn't paying attention. I was running. I was running through the burning church, my back and face too hot, the flames practically burning my eyes. I only had eyes for Johnny though...he was turned around...running my way but I could tell he couldn't see. I ran for everything I was worth, and just as the ceiling beam came crashing down, I threw my arms around him, bracing myself with an arm as we both hit the ground. Something crashed down on top of us, the pain in my head so immediate and overwhelming that I saw literal stars.

Johnny groaned under me and for a moment, everything went dark. But suddenly he was kneeling beside me, swearing and screaming for Dally, their hands on me, shaking me too hard. I tried to open my eyes and figure out who was shaking me. "Darry?" I muttered, confused. He was usually the one who was too rough with me.

Johnny. It was Johnny. That memory came back suddenly, my mind one big fog. He was trying to do something...all I could see was fire. All I could feel was fire. I was so hot. I started to reach out but my right arm gave a jolt of pain so terrible that my brain seemed to shut down. I clenched my jaw, my forehead against the ground...even the ground was hot! I needed to get up but I couldn't move. Something was on top of me and I was so hot! I thought of my brothers then, a jolt of terror shooting through my heart. I was going to die. I was going to burn to death. Suddenly I wanted Darry. With a fierceness that surprised me, I wanted my big brother. He'd get me out. He'd save me. Eyes hot, I sobbed under the beam that crushed me, sweat pouring down my forehead, the skin on my back burning.

My face was pressed into the floor and I gasped for breath, turning my head to the side as Johnny pulled on me and screamed. I wanted Darry. I wanted Soda. I wanted my mom and dad! I wanted someone to get me out from under that beam! My head was swimming and the room was spinning, the fire roaring in my ears. "Pony? Pony, hang on man!" Johnny was yelling, trying to push the beam off of me. I groaned, using my left arm to try and push myself up. It hurt so bad my stomach rebelled and for a second I was afraid I was gonna throw up. My right arm was useless and I couldn't manage to get myself up with my left one, so I let myself drop back to the concrete floor, about to tell Johnny to get himself out, but I couldn't manage the words. I just coughed, cheek pressed against the hot concrete and prayed if I was gonna die here, it wouldn't hurt too bad, a tear dripping down my cheek and onto the floor.

Someone was pulling on me then, and I screamed, jerking away on instinct. Whoever it was was screaming at me, and then I was being lifted up, the beam dropping off of me. I opened my eyes and found myself staring at someone's back. I closed my eyes again and heard someone whimper...was that me? My arm hurt so bad. It hung down and swung and I couldn't do anything about. I was so hot...so unbearably hot. Where was Johnny? No way he was carrying me. He was even smaller than I was! I opened my mouth to yell for him but all I could do was cough, my lungs burning, my chest aching from where it was pressed to the person's shoulder.

It was daylight outside and I was still coughing as whoever was carrying me knelt and sat me down, their hand catching my head so it wouldn't hit the ground. I screamed again, my arm at my side once more, feeling grass under my fingers as my eyes slammed shut. My arm had shifted and it hurt so bad…glory I couldn't hardly breathe. "We need help!" Someone shouted, and hands were on me, one patting my cheek and the other on my left shoulder. "Someone help!"

There were more hands on me then, and someone pulled me into a sitting position and grabbed my arm. They were saying something and I heard Dally yelling. Suddenly the person took my arm and jerked it, hard, and that was the last thing I knew, my eyes rolling back as my brain seemed to go to black, and I went limp on the grass.

"Kid, I swear if you don't wake up right now, I'll kill you myself, savvy?" Someone was yelling at me...sounding awful mad. My head ached and I felt dizzy, despite the fact that my eyes were closed and I wasn't moving...unless I was. Was I moving? What had I done? Why did I hurt so bad? Then I remembered, everything coming back in flashes as I tried to get my brain to catch up. The church...the fire. Johnny!

"Johnny!" I yelled for my friend, suddenly trying to sit up, but someone slammed me back onto my back, none too gentle, and my head swam as they moved my arm. I clenched my jaw so I wouldn't scream, feeling the blood drain from my face. I couldn't stop the groan, though, gasping a little and trying not to cry. What had I done to my arm?

"I said wake up, not get up, kid." The voice sounded almost sheepish.

"Sir, if you can't…" I couldn't make out the rest of what the other voice was saying, but they sounded pretty upset. My shoulder was on fire, and my chest burned. I coughed, turning my head to the side, and a hand landed on my other shoulder. The one that didn't burn.

"Yeah, yeah. I got it." The guy mumbled, and suddenly I realized there was a siren...somewhere. Was it in my head? It wouldn't surprise me, considering how much my head hurt. And my hand...I suddenly realized that my hand was killing me too, but I had to remember...I had to find out what had happened to Johnny. Was he with me, wherever this was?

"Johnny? Where's Johnny?"

"In the other ambulance." The guy told me, and I suddenly realized it was Dally. Dally had been in the church too! Was he okay? He sounded upset.

"Dally?" I tried to sit up again, and this time he stopped me before I moved, his hands careful this time as he placed them against my chest.

"Easy, kid. Calm down." That was an order. I always listened to Dally...or was it Darry? My head was spinning and for some reason, I was getting them mixed up, but I was trying to remember what had happened.

"Is he okay? The church…"

"He's fine, kid. I think he sprained his wrist or something when you tackled him. He's okay." He sounded like he was smiling and I opened my eyes, trying to squint up at him in the dim light. "The guy who was there with those kids is riding with him in the other ambulance." Things were piecing back together in my scrambled brain, and I tried to move my arm again, which I immediately regretted. "Stay still, Ponyboy." He ordered and I stilled immediately. My head spun from the pain and I blinked, staring straight up at the ceiling as I tried to sort out my thoughts.

"Darry?" Dal went quiet for a second, and someone, the other person in the apparently crowded ambulance, said something I didn't catch.

"His brother," Dally told them, and I guess they'd asked who Darry was. Why had I asked for Darry? I couldn't really remember. "They're gonna call your brothers from the hospital, alright? You hit your head...and your shoulder too. That beam would have killed Johnny if it had fallen on him...you saved his life, kid." His hand went to my head and pushed my hair back for a second. My head was throbbing as I tried to remember that.

"I did?"

"Yeah." He told me after a pause. "You can't remember?"

"It was on fire," I told him, closing my eyes. Someone touched my arm, moving it, and I swore, throwing my head back and clenching my teeth.

"Yeah...you remember Johnny...the roof was caving in. I tried to stop you from going back in and you broke my nose." That came back then. Dal had grabbed my arm, and I'd swung around with my elbow...apparently it had made contact. I winced up at him, worried about how I'd have to pay for that.

"Sorry." He snorted.

"You saved his life, kid. Those kids, too. That guy called us heroes. I told him we were greasers." He ruffled my hair again, laughing a little and I tried to smile. "I didn't think I was gonna be able to get you out of that church. Johnny had to help. You were trapped under that beam and it took both of us to move it. You started screaming when I grabbed your arm, but man...I thought we were all gonna get buried under that church." He went kind of quiet. "We almost did."

"You okay?" He snorted.

"Got burned some. They tried to look at my arm, but you were unconscious so…"

"Unconscious?"

"Yeah. Remember? Hit to the head? Ceiling beam came down on your shoulder and got you on the back of the head too. You're lucky you were knocking Johnny out of the way. You got a hell of a tackle kid. Ever thought about football?"

He was talking too fast. Something about football...and my head. Had I hit my head playing football? Everything was spinning. "Dal? I don't...I don't play football? I don't…"

"Kid, stay with me. Don't go back to sleep." Something was put over my face but I shook my head, ignoring how it hurt. I was scared...I didn't want something on my face...I didn't want to smother in here.

"Stop, Dal!" It hurt enough to breathe as it was, and even though I knew better than to tell him to stop doing something, I knew that if he put something on my face I wouldn't be able to at all. Coughing, I tried to bat him away. My arms felt awkward and heavy though. "Please, Dal...it hurts." I tried, hoping he wouldn't hit me.

One of his hands was on my shoulder and the other was on my head, so I wondered if that had been him trying to put something on my face. "Easy, kid. That's gonna help you breathe. Come on, let him put that mask on you."

"Mask?"

"Yeah. It's for oxygen or something. Just let him put it on ya." I nodded, staying still when he placed it over my mouth, whoever 'he' was. Immediately it got easier to breathe and I relaxed a little. "Better?" I nodded. Before I'd been gasping for air, fighting to get my breath but this was a lot easier. I wanted to ask what had happened to my arm but instead, I just closed my eyes, ignoring Dally when he told me to wake up.

I thought I was going to get to rest some, but then we went over some kind of bump or something and my arm moved, the pain making my back arch and the scream seemed to echo in the small space. Beside me, Dally swore, his hands grabbing my left arm, bracing me...I held my arm close to my chest, ashamed to be crying in front of Dal but not able to stop it. "The hell is wrong with the driver, huh? He drunk or something?" Someone was rubbing my shoulder but it couldn't have been Dally because he didn't do stuff like that. I realized as I was trying to breathe again that I could barely move my right hand...I tried and was rewarded with more pain. I felt my eyes get hot again as I tried to move it, gasping a little into the mask.

"You okay, kid?" Dally asked, hand still on my shoulder.

"My hand…" I trailed off when the sob forced itself out of my throat, hoping he'd figure out what I meant. He did, squeezing my shoulder a little.

"They got it wrapped up. You've got some pretty bad burns but the jacket protected you from most of it."

I frowned, squinting up at him, then letting my eyes close again. "I don't...how did I get burned?" I wondered. I suddenly couldn't remember. Where were my brothers? And Johnny?

"The fire, kid." He sounded real worried now. "The church...that beam was on fire. It must have got your hand. You with me kid? We're almost to the hospital, and they're gonna call your brothers."

I winced. Was Darry at work? Or was I late coming home? "Darry's gonna be mad," I told him, sighing a little.

Dally shook me, and I opened my eyes again. I couldn't remember closing them. He was shaking his head, looking real serious. "No he ain't kid. He's worried sick about you."

"He hit me," I told him quietly, closing my eyes again. "I yelled at him and he hit me. He don't want me around, Dal. Just wishes he'd let me go to a boy's home."

Dal shook his head, looking almost sad. "That ain't true kid. Your big brothers are scared to death something's happened to you. I ain't never seen Superman so upset, not even after your parents." He messed up my hair a little. "You okay?"

I just shrugged my left shoulder. It hurt. Everything hurt, but I didn't want to think about it. My arm was held close to my chest by something, my fingers stiff and painful. Glory I was tired. If I slept, then it wouldn't hurt anymore, right?

"We'll be there soon." He assured me quietly.

"Where?" I asked, blinking and feeling dazed as I tried to focus on his face. He still had a hand on my shoulder and it was hard to talk around the mask.

"The hospital, Ponyboy. They're taking all of us to the hospital. Remember?" I shook my head, groaning and closing my eyes. "Stay awake, kid!"

I tried and sort of succeeded, all the way to the hospital when Dally jumped out of the ambulance and the bed I was on moved, two guys, one on each side of me, rolling the bed down the hall. I closed my eyes for that part, too dizzy to watch the lights pass until I was finally in some curtained off place by myself, and they somehow got me into a bed. I was kind of fuzzy on that part as I leaned against some pillows. A doctor hurried in, asking me for my name and how old I was, and I did my best to answer. I was still dizzy but did my best to tell him everything I could.

The mask was still on my face and he was unwrapping my right hand before I realized what was going on, and a nurse came in and poked me in the other arm with a needle. I flinched and looked away, my eyes falling on my hand. It was red and covered in blisters, and the doctor put some kind of ointment and wrapped it in some kind of gauze before leaving.

Everything was spinning around me and I wondered where Dally was. I missed having him nearby, knowing he had my back if something happened...and someone to talk to. I worried about Johnny too...I hadn't seen him since I'd tackled him in the church. Apparently, I'd sprained his wrist. I hoped he was okay. He'd been yelling, I think...it was all a blur. I'd been so hot. I was still kind of hot, but I realized I wasn't wearing the jacket anymore. Closing my eyes, I coughed when I tried to take a deep breath, doing my best to rest and then falling asleep.


	2. Waiting

****

Waiting

I'd been sure my best friend was going to die. That church had been coming down, and Ponyboy had saved my life…and when I'd got out from under him and that ceiling, I'd been sure that he was going to die. My heart raced just thinking about it as I sat in the waiting room, my stomach flipping. The flaming wood had been crushing him, burning the jacket that Dally had given him, and I'd been worried that he'd broken his back. I knew his arm was hurt…when he'd tried to get himself up, he'd dropped back down, and I'd seen him crying as I'd tried to lift the beam, all the while screaming for Dally.

"I'm gonna get you out. Hang on, Pony. Hang on." I'd urged over and over, my own eyes wet as I'd lifted with all my might, my wrist throbbing where I'd landed on it. He had been crying under that beam, and I'd felt water drip down my face, the fire roaring around us. My best friend couldn't die saving me. "Please…please…" I'd begged under my breath, crouching and lifting the beam. "Oh god, please. Please…" My wrist had hurt so bad but the beam had started to budge, my friend groaning on the floor.

"What the hell are you doing!" Dally had screamed then, and I'd almost thrown my arms around him as he'd dodged a piece of wood falling from the ceiling. Then he'd caught sight of Ponyboy, his face going real pale, eyes huge.

"He's trapped. Dal I can't get him out." I'd all but sobbed, but he'd already been crouching down beside Pony. Jumping to help, we'd both grabbed the beam, lifting and managing the get the huge ceiling beam to roll mostly off of him.

Grim and silent, Dally had pulled on him, flinching a little when he'd screamed, the nose going right through me. "I know kid. Come on. We gotta get you out." He'd tried to speak over the fire, getting a hold of Pony and throwing him over his shoulder. "Go, Johnny!" He'd ordered, pointing toward the only part of the church that had, miraculously, managed to stay somewhat intact. Around us the ceiling was caving in, and even though it had felt like hours since Pony had tacked me, it had only been maybe a minute. Running, I'd grabbed a piece of wood and hit the window as hard as I could. Somehow it had worked, shattering the glass, and I'd jumped through, moving out of the way as Dally had carried Ponyboy out onto the grass, kneeling down and easing him onto the ground where we'd immediately tried to put out the fire.

He'd been gasping for breath, screaming in between, and Dally had turned to the guy who'd been supervising the kids. The guy had been watching wide-eyed, arms limp at his sides. "Go get someone!" Dally had screamed, and if he'd had a rock I feel like he might have thrown it at him. "Damn it, he needs help!"

The firefighters had come then, one of them sitting Pony up and grabbing his arm. "Easy! He's hurt, asshole!" Dally had snarled, jerking away from the one who'd reached for his arm. In the distance, I'd heard a siren and prayed it was an ambulance. I'd shaken off the guy trying to help me just as the firefighter jerked on Pony's arm, and my friend's eyes had rolled back, his body going limp. I'd been afraid that Dal was gonna punch him. "What the hell…" He'd screamed.

"His shoulder was dislocated!" The firefighter had snapped while another one tried again to look at Dally's burnt arm.

"Get the hell off me and help him!" He'd all but screamed, grabbing Pony's left shoulder and shaking him. "Shit! Wake up, kid! Come on!"

"That ceiling beam hit him in the head, Dal." I'd half-whispered, noticing with a sick feeling that the firefighters were giving each other worried looks, jaws tight as one had brought his hand to the back of Pony's hand…it had come back bloody and my stomach had flipped again. Then they'd taken him and Dally in one ambulance and me in another with that guy who'd been watching the kids and I hadn't been able to breathe right since.

I jumped a little when someone dropped into a chair beside me in the waiting room, relaxing when I saw that it was just Dal. "How are you, kid?" He asked, ruffling my hair. One of his arms was covered in a bandage, and he wasn't wearing a shirt. I didn't even ask. He'd probably ducked out of whatever room they'd put him in.

I held up my left hand that was wrapped in a bandage. "Just a sprained wrist," I told him. The guy in the ambulance hadn't been very helpful...just telling me that we were heroes and thanking me for saving those kids. "It was Pony." I'd told him, my voice breaking a little when I thought about my friend grabbing me, then being crushed under that beam. "Pony saved them." He'd been the one to run in. He'd been the one to grab the first kid when I'd just stood there, terrified. "It'll be fine," I told Dal.

I was more worried about Pony...and the fuzz. Surely they'd be by soon to talk to me. Maybe arrest me. I wasn't sure who I was more scared of, the fuzz or Darrel Curtis who had been called as soon as they'd brought us in. I wondered if they'd called my parents. I doubted they'd bother coming. The doctors had put me in a room for a few minutes, looking me over and wrapping my wrist while I practically vibrated I was shaking so hard. I wanted out. I wanted to find Pony and see if he was okay. I wanted to hear him tell me he was okay. He could have died…he could have died because he'd saved my life. It would be my fault if he died.

"You're lucky," Dallas told me, rubbing a careful finger over his swollen nose and flinching. I had to grin...Pony had broken it. He'd been so worried about saving me that he'd fought Dallas Winston...and won! I just hoped that Darry wasn't too mad at me...and that he didn't break my nose. I wouldn't blame him if he did. It was my fault we'd had to run off...I'd stabbed someone, then dragged Ponyboy of with me. He was only fourteen, and I'd dragged along when I'd run away from the fuzz! Glory, I wouldn't be surprised if Darrel and Sodapop both wanted to slug me. They loved Pony more than anything, and they both protected him at all costs, so I would be lucky if I made it out of this with all my bones intact.

Okay, I knew they wouldn't really hurt me. But having Darry and Soda mad at me was even worse somehow. My parents were shit, we all knew it. They didn't care about me, and my only family was the guys. Dally and Darry especially were like my big brothers, keeping an eye on me, and Darry and Soda let me stay over anytime I needed to. And Ponyboy was my best friend. He was younger, sure, but he was one of the smartest people I knew. He was a good listener and he was always up to hang out when I needed somebody around. And I'd put him in danger.

Up until the fire, it had almost been fun. When I let myself forget why we were hiding out in that church, it was cool to hang out with my best friend every day. Pony and I got along real well, spending our days reading our book or just talking. And I felt like I was looking out for him for once. He'd been kind of freaked out in the beginning, and I was older. I'd been able to calm him down, and then he'd been fine. Well, mostly fine. I knew he'd missed his brothers, Darry too, even though they weren't getting along too well lately. I hated that Darry had hit him. I knew he hadn't meant it, and he was probably real sorry, but that family wasn't supposed to be like that. Sure, they fought like any family, but they weren't supposed to be like my family.

Pony had told me that Darry didn't want him around…that he wished he'd let him go to a boy's home. Of course, anyone with eyes could see that wasn't true. I couldn't believe he really believed it. I mean, sure, Darry was real serious and he got on Pony a lot, but he was doing his best to keep their family afloat and he loved Pony so much he worried about him all the time. He always wanted to know where Pony was going and who with and when he'd be home. Sometimes I wanted to tell Pony how lucky he was…how much I wished that my parents gave a crap about me. I wanted to tell him that my parents would never protect me and that they never asked where I was going or cared when I slept outside. Darry would never let anyone hurt his little brother. I mean, he wouldn't let anyone hurt me neither, but it wasn't the same.

"Would they tell you anything about Pony?" I asked Dally, arms crossed tight across my chest.

"Nah. I ain't family." He told me, shrugging. If I hadn't known better, I would have thought he didn't care. But I knew better. His jaw was tight, lips pressed tight together as he watched the nurses hurry back and forth. He'd ridden in the ambulance with him, but apparently, they hadn't let him see Pony after they'd gotten to the hospital. "They won't tell anyone but Darrel."

The door at the end of the hospital corridor swung open just then and Soda burst through, his face pale and sick looking. He stopped short when he saw me and Dally sitting there in the little waiting room, his already white face losing even more blood as he grabbed at the wall. Darrel was only a few steps behind him, freezing when he saw us and grabbing Soda's shoulder to hold him up. Dallas pulled himself up, and I followed, keeping behind him. Maybe he'd slow Darry down. "Where is he? Where's Pony?" Darry demanded.

"What did they tell you?" Dallas asked calmly, and I wondered if maybe Darrel might just punch him. Pony's oldest brother stiffened, jaw tight.

"Just that he was here." He told Dal, his voice quiet and barely controlled. Soda straightened, staring at me and then Dal, both of the Curtis brothers waiting impatiently, so I just spit it out.

"It was my fault." I blurted, stepping up beside Dal, my heart in my throat. "I was in the church...there were kids...and a fire." Darry reached out and I couldn't help the flinch. He froze, looking like I'd smacked him, then rested the gentle hand on my shoulder.

"Start from the beginning, kiddo. What happened?" He asked, squeezing my shoulder. He didn't look real mad, but I knew he would be soon.

"We were in a church out in the country...hiding out. Dally showed up and took us to eat, and when we got back, it was on fire...there were lots of people outside, and some little kids got trapped in there." I hesitated, but Darry just waited, Soda right beside him, their eyes wide and intense. "Pony ran in...I followed him. The firefighters wouldn't go in, but Pony broke a window and I climbed in after him. Dally tried to stop us…" I glanced over at Dal who just stared at his feet. "We got the kids out. Dal helped us, and then…" I trailed off, remembering running toward the door and getting turned around...remembering the beam coming down and my friend's arms around me.

"The kid was out." Dally took over, patting me on the shoulder and taking over. "But Johnny was still inside. The thing was falling down, and the kid was on fire…" He sighed. "Ponyboy saw that Johnny was gonna get trapped and he ran back in. I tried to stop him and he gave me this." He tapped his own nose and Darry blinked, wide-eyed and astonished, while Soda grinned like he was proud. "He ran in and tackled Johnny...kept a ceiling beam from breaking his back. Got Ponyboy in the head...hurt his shoulder too. I went in and we about dragged the kid out."

"How bad is it?" Darry demanded then, arms crossed like he was bracing himself. He was scared...more scared than I'd ever seen him, but he always was the one who wanted things straight. He wanted to know how bad his brother was hurt and it was all my fault.

"I don't know, man." Dally shrugged, hands shoved in his pockets. "Got knocked pretty hard on the head. His shoulder was dislocated, and his hand was burned kind of bad, but he was awake and talking in the ambulance. Asking for Johnny and you two." Darry nodded, glancing over at me with a weak smile. Then Dally went on. "The kid said you'd be mad...said you didn't want him around." He went pale again then, and Soda stared at the floor, jaw tight. "Ain't none of my business, but you might want to tell him that ain't true. I ain't hiding these two again." He knocked me gently in the head.

"You alright, Johnny?" Soda asked, breaking the tension. I didn't deserve friends like Sodapop and Darrel Curtis.

"Just sprained my wrist." I shrugged. "He saved my life. Those kids, too." Soda grinned again, looking like he might start crying. "I would have died if he hadn't run back in. That beam would have broken my back. He's lucky it didn't break his."

"Our kid brother's pretty brave, huh." Soda looked up at Darry who nodded a little, putting a hand on Sodapop's shoulder.

"I gave them all the information I could." Dallas told Darry, crossing his arms. "If you go to the nurse she can probably tell you more. They wouldn't tell us much."

"Thanks, Dallas." Darry murmured, hurrying over to the nurse's station, Sodapop on his heels as they went to find out more about their little brother. I stayed where I was, dropping into a chair and then putting my head in my hands, trying to ignore the sting of my sprained wrist. The bandage was going to be a pain.

"Did they call my folks, you think?" I asked Dally, both wanting them to come check on me and wanting them to stay away. He just shrugged, unconcerned.

"Who gives a shit, man?"

"I do!" I snapped, spinning on him and glaring. "I give a shit, Dallas!" My eyes were hot and I hated myself for losing it like this. But I remembered how Ponyboy had run toward me, tackling me like Two-Bit in a football game. Or like Darry...but Darry never tackled me because he always played on a team with me and Pony. He'd thrown himself on top of me as the ceiling beam had come down, and I'd just been able to crawl out from under him. He hadn't moved when I'd tried shaking him and for a moment, I'd been sure he was dead. Then he'd looked up at me, eyes wild as he'd tried to push himself up. But then Dally had run in to help me, both of us managing to get that ceiling beam off of him and yanking on his arms to get him out of the rubble. He'd started screaming, and it had almost been a relief. At least it meant he was alive. I didn't know how I'd live with myself if he'd died in that church.

And what if he'd hit his head too hard? What if he had brain damage or something? How was I supposed to live with myself if my best friend was permanently injured because of me? What would Darry and Soda do? They could barely afford everything as it was? What if Pony couldn't remember things anymore or what if he forgot who he was or…glory what if he was different? There were stories of people who hit their heads and couldn't feed themselves anymore or couldn't walk or get dressed or talk.

Slumping in my seat and turning away from Dallas, I stared out at the almost empty waiting room, trying not to listen to Darry and Sodapop talking to the nurse. I couldn't help catching some words though. Dislocated shoulder. Concussion. Burns. That last part made me flinch. He had been on fire, and sure, Dally's jacket had protected him some, but he'd actually been on fire. I'd tried to get it out...me and Dally both when Dal had dropped him on the grass outside the church, me pulling off my own jacket to throw over him and Dallas hitting him on the shoulder and sides, both of us yelling for help and him screaming.

That had been the worst...him screaming and writhing on the ground, his arm at a strange angle, his eyes closed as his clothes had burned. I'd been able to tell right off that his hand was burned real bad, but other than that, I hadn't been able to tell if he was burned anywhere else. Then they'd been pulling me into an ambulance and him into another one, Dal going with him and the guy who'd been with that group of kids coming with me.

Soda and Darry came back over to where we sat, Sodapop dropping into a chair, both of them looking exhausted even though it was only just barely three in the afternoon. "Johnnycakes? You sure you're alright?" Darry asked, crouching in front of me, and I couldn't believe he was asking me that when his little brother was in a hospital bed somewhere and it was my fault. I just nodded, too miserable to talk. "What's wrong with your arm?"

"Sprained wrist." I told him, holding it up a little. "Landed on it wrong when Pony tackled me."

"They call your folks?" He asked. My eyes got hot and I glared at the floor.

"I don't know. They probably ain't gonna show up either way." I hated that my eyes were wet, my voice weak as I said it out loud, what we all knew. My parents didn't care if I lived or died. Darry reached out, looking real sorry and patting my knee. He cared. Even though this was all my fault, Darrel Curtis cared.

"I'm gonna call the guys. Tell 'em where we are. I got the call from work and picked up Soda on my way...we didn't exactly get to explain to Steve." He explained. "Maybe one of 'em can come up and give you a ride home later." Without waiting for a response, Darry stood, leaving us with Soda who just stared at the ground.

"How bad is he" Dally asked them, real soft, but not gruff or anything. Serious. Almost worried. Of course, he was worried. Ponyboy was as good as his kid brother, one of the only people in the world he cared about. He'd been scared to death when Pony had been screaming on the ground, the fire burning his clothes and his hand.

Sodapop sighed, running a hand through his already unruly hair. "Uh...they don't know too much yet. His shoulder was dislocated but they got it back in place. He'll wear a sling for a while. And his hand is burned pretty bad. They've got him on oxygen cause of all the smoke he breathed."

"He pushed me out of the way. That beam would have killed me, Soda." I told him, my voice just above a whisper. "He got buried under some of it...we tried to put the fire out…"

"They're worried about his head. That ceiling beam hit him real hard. They said he's unconscious right now. I don't know when they're gonna let us see him. He's gotta have IVs and stuff put in. I don't really know why." He shrugged. "I'm a high school drop out...don't really understand all the medical stuff." He was close to breaking and I wanted to put a hand on his arm or something, but I couldn't move. Instead, I just crossed my arms, curling up in a ball on the waiting room chair.

Darry came back from calling the guys, sitting on my other side and putting a hand on my shoulder. "Steve's on his way. Two-Bit wasn't home but Steve said he knew where he was. He's gonna pick him up on his way. Johnny, one of them can give you a ride home if you want…or you can stay at our house for a little while."

"I ain't going anywhere 'till I know he's alright," I told Darry simply, staring straight ahead at the plain white wall. I waited for Darry to tell me he was gonna be fine, but he just nodded, grim and scared, and I dropped my head in my hands. "I'm sorry...shit, I'm so sorry, Darry." His hand moved to my back, rubbing circles. "It's my fault...all of this is my fault."

"It ain't your fault, Johnny. Shoot, kiddo, the two of you got in some trouble. You sure didn't ask for it." Darry assured me softly. "I wish you guys had come to me...but I get why you ran off." He spoke sadly, and I knew he was thinking about hitting Pony.

"Are the fuzz gonna come?" I asked, still staring at the floor.

"I don't know, Johnnycakes. It's gonna be okay, though."

Steve and Two-Bit came running in after about an hour, both sober and looking scared to death. Two-Bit grabbed me in a bear hug, spinning me around, and I threw my arms around him, feeling like a baby but glad he was there. "Hey there kiddo. Thought I was gonna half to come to Texas to find you." He told me, ruffling my hair, and Steve clapped me on the shoulder, giving Soda a worried look. "How is he?" Two-Bit asked then, looking between all of us. "Where's the kid?"

"They've got him in a room...haven't let us see him yet." Soda told them, rubbing his eyes tiredly. "He hasn't woken up yet."

"What the hell happened to him?" Steve demanded, looking worried. I always knew he cared about Pony, even if my friend never believed me.

"A ceiling beam came down and hit him on the head," Darrel told them quietly. "He dislocated his shoulder and burned his hand pretty bad. They're mostly worried about his head, though."

"He saved my life," I told Steve, meeting his wide eyes with my wet ones. "That ceiling beam would have killed me...he knocked me out of the way. Saved all the kids trapped in the church too." Steve shook his head, swearing and dropping into a chair beside Soda. Two-Bit ruffled my hair, then leaned against the wall, watching the nurses for a minute.

"He was talking in the ambulance," Dally told them. Maybe that made it better...that he'd woken up for a while. That he'd been talking. Hands shaking, I dropped them in my lap, praying that my friend was going to be okay.


	3. Awake

Awake

Someone was holding my left hand. I shifted a little on the bed, but my right shoulder burned and I groaned. My hand was killing me and when I tried to flex it, it hurt even more. My head hurt too...glory, I felt like I'd been hit by a truck...not that I'd ever been hit by a truck. My hand was tight and my shoulder was stiff and painful and my back was killing me and my head hurt so bad I could hardly move it.

"Ponyboy?" Someone asked. Was Dally back? Dally had been with me, right? Or had it been Johnny? There had been a church...then fire? I couldn't keep it all straight. I could have sworn football was involved somehow...or that Dally had said something about it. "Honey, are you awake?" I hummed in agreement, hoping they'd take my word for it and let me sleep. "Can you open your eyes?" The person asked, squeezing my left hand. At least that one didn't hurt.

"No," I muttered, and they laughed a little. That laugh was familiar. I knew them...but my brain wasn't working for some reason.

"Please?" I heaved a long sigh, then did my best. My eyes felt so heavy, it was almost impossible. "Come on, kiddo. Open your eyes."

"Trying," I told whoever it was, and they pushed my hair back. "Hurts." I realized then that I had something wrapped around my face. I tried to shake my head and dislodge it but I could hardly move my head.

"Yeah, I know, honey." Honey...who called me that? Mom and Dad...but it wasn't them. Darry? No...the last thing I remembered about Darry was him hitting me. It wouldn't be him.

"Soda?" I asked, hoping. Could it be him? I missed him a lot. I felt like it had been a long time since I'd seen him. Couldn't quite remember why, though.

"Yeah, honey?" I opened my eyes then, forcing them, and I found Sodapop hovering over me. He had a hand on my head, and another was holding mine. I managed to grin at him, blinking a few times and squeezing his hand.

"Hey, Sodapop." He grinned right back, his eyes real bright like he was upset. "What's the matter?"

He blinked hard, jaw tight. "Glory, kiddo...you wouldn't wake up."

"What? What time is it?" I asked, confused. We weren't at home, I could tell that from the bed. Why had he been trying to wake me up?

"Uh…" He looked up and looked at something. "Almost 6 in the evening," he told me.

"Oh…" I looked around as best I could, but all I could see was the ceiling and him. "Where are we?" I wondered.

"You're in the hospital." I frowned at him, narrowing my eyes, then it all came back to me, the heart monitor beside me beeping loudly as my eyes widened. Johnny.

"The church...is Johnny okay?" I asked, starting to sit up, but he kept me down with a hand on my left shoulder.

"Yeah, he's okay. Stay still, alright?" He urged.

"Soda...the church...it burned down."

"I know." He stroked my hair back, his jaw tight.

"Johnny...it was gonna fall on him. Soda...I...it fell on me. The ceiling...it was on fire. I thought...I thought I was gonna die…" He squeezed my hand tighter, closing his eyes for a second, then tried to smile. My eyes were hot and the machine beside me was beeping real fast.

"You didn't, though. Dally got you out, him and Johnny. They're both okay. They're in the waiting room. Wanted to make sure you were alright before they went home. The guys are here too."

"It wasn't Johnny's fault." I tried to tell him even though he hadn't said anything about that. He nodded.

"I know. It's gonna be okay." He stroked my hair again. "You guys got into some mess, huh?" I nodded, letting my head rest on the pillow again, blinking tiredly.

"Yeah...that soc was gonna kill me."

Soda paused for a second, blinking at me in confusion. "What?" He asked, leaning in. "You mean Bob...the one Johnny stabbed?"

"Yeah. He had me in the fountain...I was drowning. So Johnny stabbed him. And...I almost burned to death too...bad week." He snorted but didn't look too amused, just stroking my hair.

"Yeah, well it's over now, kiddo." He assured me.

"My hand hurts."

"You burned it pretty bad. Your shoulder was dislocated, and you got one heck of a knot on your head. That ceiling beam hit you awful hard."

"Oh." I nodded, even though it hurt. Then I realized what I'd forgotten. "Soda?"

"Yeah?"

I hesitating, steeling myself. Of course, the answer was going to be yes…Darry wasn't even here. That made my heart ache a little…he hadn't even bothered coming. "Is Darry real mad?" He glanced at something behind me but I couldn't make myself look...my head was pounding.

"No…" He choked on the word a little, running a hand down his face. "No, honey, he's not mad at all."

"He hit me." I reminded him, wiping at my eyes. "He don't want me at home Soda."

"That's not true." He assured me, his voice real quiet. "I promise...you know I wouldn't lie to you, right?" I hesitated, then nodded. Sodapop had never lied to me before. "He's been so scared, honey. Looked about everywhere for you. Been practically harassing Tim to get him to find you. Two-Bit was gonna go to Texas cause Dally said you two talked about going there. I thought Darry and him were gonna rumble he was so mad." He kept stroking my hair. "He's been so worried."

"Where is he?" I asked, not quite believing it. I knew Sodapop wouldn't lie to me, but he'd told me before that Darry didn't hate me before. I knew he believed it when he said it, but he didn't get it. He didn't get that all Darry did was yell at me. He didn't get that every little thing I did was wrong to our brother…that I could never be good enough for him. And now, he wasn't even here.

"He's in the hallway...he about bawled the whole way here he was so scared." I just blinked at him, not getting it. Why was he in the hallway? "He was worried you wouldn't want to see him, though...after what happened. He's awful sorry, Ponyboy. He shouldn't have hit you...I wanted to take a swing at him myself, but he didn't mean to. He was scared to death that night, and when he found out you and Johnny were gone…glory kiddo. He's been spending every second looking for you."

"He's here, though?" I asked, kind of surprised how much I wanted to see him. I suddenly remembered lying there under the ceiling beam, so desperately wishing my brother was there. He could have gotten me out of there...he would have saved me. Even if he didn't want me, I still needed him, and my eyes got hot thinking about it. It was pathetic and stupid and I was too old for this, but I needed my big brothers.

Soda squeezed my good shoulder. "Of course he is. Want me to get him?" I just nodded, and he leaned down, pressing his forehead against mine for a second.

"Alright. I'll be back in a second." He let my hand go and immediately I felt colder. I remembered real well all of a sudden...the church. The ceiling beam. Laying on the ground, sure I'd been about to die. My blood went cold...I'd almost died. Glory, that would have killed Darry and Soda. The machine beside me beeped fast again, and I wondered if it was measuring how fast my heart was beating.

The door opened and I tried to sit up, but I couldn't manage it. I guess Soda was waiting in the hall this time because it was just Darry standing in the doorway. He just stood there, his arms limp at his side, but he was crying, lip trembling. I tried to remember the last time I'd seen him cry. Not the funeral...he'd just sat real still, looking pale and scared, but not crying like me and Soda. I wanted to go over to him, but I couldn't even sit up. "Darry?" I called, and he seemed to appear at my side, gathering me up real careful and holding me, managing not to crush my hurt arm. Darry was usually a little too rough without meaning to be, but now he was really gentle, stroking my back. He was crying into my hair, and suddenly I was crying too, gripping him with my left hand.

"I thought we'd lost you...like we lost Mom and Dad." He sobbed, rocking us back and forth on the bed, and everything hurt but it was so good to hug him. I gripped his shirt as tight as I could with my good hand. "Glory Pony...are you okay?" He asked, still holding me close

"I thought I was gonna die...I thought I was gonna burn to death in that church." I felt him shake his head against mine. "I couldn't get up...it was so hot…" I whimpered into his shirt, and he held me tighter like he was protecting me. He always protected me. This was Darry, my big brother, and suddenly everything seemed to click. He didn't hate me. He'd never hated me. He was scared to death that he was gonna lose me like we'd lost our parents. He was worried when I didn't call or got jumped or had my head in the clouds...he was scared that something would happen to me that he couldn't protect me from.

"You're safe now, kiddo. I promise. You're safe. I've gotcha." He assured me, sitting on the bed and holding me tight. I was shaking in his arms and closed my eyes, leaning my head against his shoulder. I flinched when something pulled at my arm and tried to pull away from it, but that just made it worse. "Easy, honey. Don't pull that. You've got an IV." He shifted me closer so the tube wasn't pulling anymore, then eased me down onto the bed, his hand pushing my hair back as he tried to smile. "Gosh, kiddo...what happened to your hair?" I laughed, dropping my head back.

"We were trying to disguise ourselves." He nodded, resting a hand on my hair, still sad and scared but trying not to be.

"Yeah? Guess it worked." He grabbed a rag from beside the bed, somehow got it wet, and started wiping at my face. "You're covered in soot." He explained, dabbing carefully at my face. "How are you feeling?"

"Hurts."

"What hurts?" He asked, concerned.

"Everything...my head. My shoulder...my hand too. That's the worst." He squeezed my left shoulder, leaving the right alone.

"You'll have to keep your right arm in a sling for a while. And your hand's wrapped up...that's where you got burned the worst."

"I pushed Johnny out of the way," I told him. "I was out but...but he was gonna get trapped. We got all those kids out."

"Yeah...that's what the guy with those kids said. You're a hero, Pony." He put the rag down, grinning. "They'll probably write about you in the papers and everything."

I snorted, rolling my eyes.

"We ain't heroes. We're greasers." I told him, copying Dally's line, and he laughed a little. "I broke Dally's nose," I admitted softly. "Is he mad?"

"Nah. You saved Johnny's life. He can't be too mad about that."

"Think he'll pay me back?"

Darry went from grinning to dead serious, his eyes going from gentle to cold, icy blue. "If he tries it, I'll break more than his nose." He wiped my face some more, and usually, I'd get irritated and swat him away...I wasn't a baby. But right then, I didn't have the energy and I was so glad to have my brothers back I just lay back and let him. "You want some water, little buddy?" I nodded, trying to sit up, and he grabbed a cup, getting an arm under me and holding the straw to my mouth, letting me drink.

"Are the police gonna arrest us?" I asked, glancing at the door, and he stroked my hair, following my gaze, then shaking his head.

"I don't know, kiddo. But whatever happens, we'll figure it out, okay? I'll take care of it." I nodded, laying back on the pillow. "Go ahead and rest."

"Will you stay?" I asked, feeling like I was about six, but he didn't laugh, just squeezed my hand.

"Yeah, honey. I'll be right here." I nodded.

"Where's Soda?"

"I'll call him back in." He promised. "Go ahead and rest, Ponyboy. We'll be here when you get up." Before Soda could even step into the room, I was asleep again, not even dreaming.

When I woke up again, it was to Darry and Soda talking. I heard them before I even opened my eyes. Straining to hear their words, I tried to open my eyes. My head was killing me...I kind of just wanted to go back to sleep. My arm hurt too, and my hand throbbed under the bandages. I wondered briefly if someone would give me some aspirin.

"They're just gonna talk to him." Darry was telling Soda, his voice pitched low, probably so he wouldn't wake me. I was still tired but I wanted to wake up.

"No charges?" I couldn't hear all of Sodapop's words, but I was trying to figure out who they were talking about.

"No...talking." I groaned, hating that I couldn't understand everything they were saying.

"Pony?" Darry asked, and someone squeezed my hand.

"Yeah?" I managed to open my eyes and found my brothers both on either side of me. Soda was on my right, between me and the door, and Darry was holding my left hand. "What time is it?" I asked, disoriented.

"Almost midnight." He told me. I blinked, looking over at Soda in confusion. Darry and Sodapop were the only ones in the room…but hadn't he mentioned Johnny earlier. He'd said Johnny was in the waiting room, right? I hadn't seen Johnny yet, and they'd said he was okay, but I was wanted to see him for myself.

"Where's Johnny?" I asked.

"In the waiting room. The guys are all out there...the doctors didn't want to let anyone in until you woke up and were doing better, but Johnny's dying to see you." Soda told me.

"Can he come in?" I asked, rubbing my eyes and accidentally pulling the IV again. Wincing and putting my arm back down, I blinked at my brothers who were giving each other a strange look. My stomach dropped a little. Something was going on.

"He's talking to the cops right now, but as soon as he's done, we'll bring him in, okay?" Darry assured me.

"What? Why?" I asked, starting to sit up. Darry held me down with a hand on my shoulder, being careful not to push too hard, and I stayed where I was. Not like I had enough energy to get up anyway.

"Stay still, Pone." He urged. "They wanted to talk to him about what happened with Bob."

"Bob was gonna kill me, Darry!" I cried, looking between him and Soda, the monitor beside me beeping too fast. Darry squeezed my shoulder.

"I know. It's okay, Pone. They're just gonna talk to him, okay? He isn't under arrest. It's okay. They just want to know what happened. They said they wanted to talk to you too, but they gotta wait until you're feeling better."

"How's the head, Pone?" Sodapop asked, brushing some of my hair back and rubbing a thumb over my forehead. He was obviously trying to distract me and I gave in.

"It's fine." It hurt pretty bad, actually, but they were worried enough. "When can I go home?"

"Probably tomorrow," Darry told me, squeezing my hand. "You want something to eat? They got vending machines down the hall. You want some crackers or something?"

I shook my head. "Can I have something to drink?" I asked instead.

Darry stood, squeezing my hand again before letting go to ruffle my hair. "Sure, kiddo. I'll be right back. Coke sound okay?" I nodded and he headed out, leaving me with Soda who kept pushing my hair back, the motion soothing the headache.

"It hurts, huh?" He asked, and I heard the smile in his voice.

"Yeah, but not too bad."

"Good. Glory, you're lucky, Pone." He reminded me, leaning in and smiling, his eyes wet. "You could have died, you know that?" I nodded, too aware of that. "What would I do without you, huh?" He asked, putting a gentle hand on my shoulder, careful of the sling.

"I don't know. What did you do last week?" I asked with a half smile. He shook his head, all amusement dying.

"Worried my head off, Pone, that's what I did. You have no idea…" He sighed, dropping his head for a second. "The next time you get yourself in trouble, I want you to come to me, you hear? I don't care if you're fighting with Darry or what, Pony, you come to me and we'll figure it out together. Okay?"

I nodded, smiling. "Yeah, okay. I promise."


	4. Rumble

Rumble

I stepped out into the waiting room for the first time since going back to see Pony, kind of surprised that all the guys were still there. Johnny was in one corner, just like Sodapop had said, talking to two cops, and Dallas, Two-Bit, and Steve were all close by, watching closely. I hesitated, glancing back down the hallway, and figuring it would be okay if I stopped by for a second. Pony wasn't going nowhere.

They'd called us back a while ago, letting us sit with our little brother who had been sound asleep. For a moment, I'd sat with him, Soda on one side and me on the other, but all I could remember was his back hitting that door, my hand stinging, his face red from where I'd hit him. I'd hit my little brother and he'd run off in the middle of the night. All this was my fault.

I'd stood up, ignoring the look Soda had shot me. But when I'd made it to the door, he'd called me back. "Dar, where are you going?" He'd demanded, incredulous.

"He ain't gonna want to see me, Sodapop." I'd muttered, rubbing a hand down my face.

"Of course he will! Glory, Darry! You're his big brother!"

"I'm gonna wait in the hall, okay?" I'd asked, eyes hot, and that's how I'd found myself sitting in the hallway for over an hour, my head on my knees. And then Sodapop had stepped out into the hallway, his voice soft.

"Dar, he's awake." I'd looked up, feeling my eyes watering, and he'd smiled a little. "He wants to see you."

That had confused me, but I'd stood up, pulling myself to my feet and, leaving Sodapop in the hall, I'd stepped into his hospital room, heart aching when I'd caught his eyes. He hadn't even been able to sit up...he'd just stared at me, his eyes as wet as mine. "Darry?" And then I'd been on the bed with him, holding him as gently as I could, not wanting to hurt him. He'd gripped me tight, crying into my shoulder and telling me that he'd thought he was gonna die in that church...that he'd thought he was gonna burn to death.

I hadn't left him since except to use the bathroom attached to his room once. When I'd been sitting with him, Sodapop had come out to the waiting room and updated everyone, but they were still here. I joined the three of my buddies all watching Johnny and those cops, dropping into a chair. "Hey, guys." Two-Bit turned with a worried grin.

"Hey, man. That kid brother of yours gonna make it?" He asked.

"Yeah." I smiled, running a hand through my hair. "He's awake and talking. I was just gonna grab him something to drink. Hopefully, they'll let him come home tomorrow."  
"Yeah, hopefully." He glanced back at Johnny. "I was gonna offer Johnnycakes a ride home. Think we can see the kid before we go?" Dal perked up a little at that and I nodded slowly.

"I think that would be okay. He's not feeling too great, though. I think his head's hurting him, and his arm too…he's gonna have to wear a sling for a while."

"He'll be alright," Two-Bit assured me. "We're gonna rumble, you know."

I nodded. "Dal mentioned it."

"We gotta keep the kid out of it though. Don't want him getting hurt any worse." I snorted, glancing over at Johnny again.

"Tell me about it," I grumbled a little. He'd want to be included but there was no way I was letting him fight anytime soon. Heck, I didn't even want to send him to school. Across the room, one of the cops was writing something down on a notepad. "They been talking to him for almost an hour," I muttered.

"They're probably gonna try and force you to let the kid talk to 'em too." Steve told me, glaring a little. I was kind of surprised to see him acting protective of Pony, but not unpleasantly. My kid brother could use as many people looking after him as he could get.

"They can talk to him after we get him home." I was gonna make sure of that. No way they were questioning my kid brother in his hospital bed. "I'm gonna get Pony something at the vending machine. When Johnny's done, you guys can all come on back. We're in room 19." I told him, dropping a hand on Two-Bit's shoulder.

He nodded, but they were all watching Johnny real close. He had his arms crossed, leaning back in his chair away from the cops who were leaning in, talking to him quietly. Wishing I could go over and sit with him, or somehow make his parents into less shitty people, I headed to the vending machines. There was nothing I could do for Johnny, no matter how much I wanted to. Right now, I needed to take care of Ponyboy.

Dally's words had just about killed me. "The kid said you'd be mad. Said you didn't want him around." That's what my little brother had told him. I mean, I knew that Sodapop said I was too hard on him, and I'd usually dismiss him, figuring Soda was too protective of our little brother. But then I'd hit my little brother. I'd driven him out of the house…if it hadn't been for me, he never would have been in a park with Johnny at almost three a.m. He never would have been attacked by the socs with no one around to help him. Without me around to help him. And he'd told Dallas Winston that I didn't want him around.

I stared at the vending machine, change in my clenched fist. I'd made my baby brother think I didn't want him at home. After everything, the jobs and the social workers, after trying so hard to get custody of my brothers to keep my family together, I'd been the one to drive Ponyboy away. And Sodapop had tried to tell me. He'd tried telling me to ease up on him…but I wasn't trying to be hard on him! I was trying to get him to pay attention so he'd be safe. I was trying to make sure he kept his grades up so that he could afford to school. I was trying to keep him from spending so much time reading and watching movies by himself because he spent so much time alone already and I was afraid he was gonna pull away from everybody, especially after we'd lost our parents. But all I'd done was make him pull away even more. He had been scared of me. After I'd hit him…glory I couldn't believe I'd hit my fourteen-year-old little brother. My dad would have jumped all over me for doing something so stupid. He'd never put up with anything like that...you didn't hurt family.

I put the change in the machine, buying him a bottle of coke, popping the top off, then bought him a pack of crackers too, just in case he got hungry. The way he'd looked at me…he'd almost died. Pony had almost burned to death in a church miles away, with just Johnny and Dallas with him. I couldn't stand thinking about it. As irritated as I was with Dally for hiding them instead of bringing them to me, I owed him one. He'd saved my little brother's life…and my little brother had saved Johnny and a bunch of kids from the fire.

I found myself smiling as I headed to Ponyboy's room. He'd saved those kids and Johnny too…he'd jumped into a burning building to save a bunch of kids he didn't know. When I got back to his room, I found him sitting up a little in bed, listening to Sodapop who was telling him about the socs who'd jumped him and Steve a couple of days ago. I sat back down in my chair, handing him the soda and ruffled his hair. He swatted me away, trying to fix his blond, ridiculous hair, then took a drink. Glory, I loved my little brother so much.

"You sure you don't want anything to eat?" I asked, holding up the crackers. He shook his head.

"Nah. I ain't hungry." I nodded, putting them on the table beside his bed.

"How's the head?"

He shrugged. "Fine."

"Has the doctor been by?" I wondered.

"Yeah just for a second," Sodapop told me. "Checked the machine and looked at his head and stuff. He's gonna come back in the morning to check on him again."

"Good." I touched the knot on my little brother's head, trying to be gentle. He flinched a little, though, and I pulled my hand away.

"Hurts?" I asked. He gave a reluctant nod and I patted his leg. "Want me to see if they can give you some more pain medicine?"

"Nah. Did you see Johnny?"

"Yeah. He's talking to the cops."

"Still?" He asked, looking worried. I squeezed his knee.

"They should be done soon. I told Two-Bit to bring everybody on back when Johnny gets done."

"Dally burned his arm getting me out. Is he alright?"

I nodded, even though I hadn't paid a lot of attention to Dally at the time. I was kind of pissed at him, but he had saved my brother's life. "His arm's wrapped up, but he seems okay," I told him while Soda pulled himself to his feet.

"I'm gonna go grab a drink, kiddo. Darry, want me to get you one too?"

"Sure." He nodded, digging in his pocket and rubbing his eyes as he headed out. Pony watched him, frowning a little.

"You guys can go home if you want…it's getting late."

I didn't know how tot tell him that Soda was scared to leave him. Honestly, I was too. He'd hit his head…what if we left and came back and something had happened? What if he was alone and something happened in his brain and he didn't wake up. My stomach wrapped itself in knots just thinking about it. I had to take off work the next day, I already knew that. Sodapop would have to work but I was staying home with Pony. No way I'd leave him alone, even if the guys were gonna stay with him.

"They probably have cots or something where we can sleep," I told him, watching as he drank the soda, then gave in and started eating the crackers. I figured he hadn't eaten since Dally had taken him and Johnny out around noon. "Where'd Dal take you two for lunch?" I wondered before he could argue about us sleeping there.

"Dairy Queen." He told me, eyes darting to the door. I knew he was worried about Johnny…I was too. What if they arrested him? Or what if they wanted to arrest Pony? He was fourteen…Johnny was only sixteen. They were too young for this. It hadn't even been his fault!

"What happened, Pone?" I asked, and his eyes dropped to the blankets. He dropped the empty package of crackers on the table by his bed then, jaw tight. I knew the basics, but I wanted to hear the whole story from him.

"I wasn't gonna run away." He told me quietly, his voice weak and almost scared. "I just wanted to walk around for a while…wait for you two to go to bed. I told Johnny I wanted to run away but I didn't mean it." He rushed to assure me, eyes still down, and I reached out, gripping his left shoulder.

"I know that, kiddo. It's alright." I assured him, reaching up and pushing his hair back. Blond. My little brother was blond, I thought with a smile tugging at my lips. It made him look younger, which he probably hated. But it just reminded me how young he really was.

"We went to the park…just walking around. Then those guys from before…Bob and Randy and their friends showed up. They were mad cause we'd been walking their girl's home with Two-Bit and they jumped us. Bob had me in the fountain…he was gonna kill me Darry. He wouldn't let me up…so Johnny stabbed him." He told me, voice breaking a little. I scooted forward, sighing softly. "Johnny said we had to go to Dally…that he'd know what to do. And Dally told us to hide. I didn't know what to do." I squeezed his shoulder again.

"Kiddo…" I ran a hand down my face, fighting not to look mad. I wasn't mad. I was still scared to death…I couldn't stop thinking of that night. After I'd hit him, everything had seemed to blur together. Sodapop had dropped onto the sofa, head in his hands, and after a long minute of me standing there, he'd really let me have it.

"You know he thinks you hate him, right?" He'd shouted, jumping to his feet, hands in fists at his side. "He thinks you want don't want him…that you want to put him in a boy's home. And I try to tell him it's not true and you pull some shit like this!? What the hell, Darry? It ain't bad enough we lost our parents, now…" He'd dropped his head into his hands again, pulling at his hair. For a long minute, we'd just stood there, him pulling his hair and me with my arms limp at my sides, still not able to believe what I'd just done.

After a minute he'd jumped up, shouldering past me and grabbing the phone. Ponyboy had been gone…at 2 in the morning. He was furious and hurt and I had no idea where he was or what he was doing or if he was gonna come home. I'd failed. I'd let him down in the worst way possible and I hadn't had any idea how to fix it. "Two-Bit?" Soda had asked, gripping the phone tight. "Are you drunk?" Whatever Two-Bit's response was, it must have been bad because Soda had groaned, running a hand over his face. "Is Pony there?" There was silence and he groaned again. "Because he ain't here, Two-Bit! Damn it!" He'd slammed the phone down, taking a deep breath and trying to keep it together. Sodapop was great with Pony and he was usually real nice, but he was also impulsive and reckless and nothing got him riled up quicker than someone threatening his little brother.

He'd picked up the phone again, wiping irritably at his eyes, and still, I hadn't moved. "Hey, Steve? Is Ponyboy there?" I'd moved in, trying to hear his response.

"The hell, Sodapop? No. The kid ain't here. Why the hell…"

"Shut up! He and Darry got into it and he ran off." Soda spit, throwing a glare back at me. "Shit…Steve, I gotta find him."

"Alright man." I'd heard him sigh on the other end of the line. "I'll be there in a sec."

Sodapop had put the phone down, dropping into my recliner and dropping his head into his hands. I'd dropped onto the couch, running a hand over my face and glancing out the window every few minutes until Steve showed up, glancing between me and Soda. "What's going on, man?" He had asked, looking tired.

"They got into it and…"

"I hit him." I'd interrupted him, forcing myself to meet Steve's wide, surprised eyes. "He got home late and we were fighting and I hit him." Steve had opened his mouth, about to comment, but had just nodded instead.

"Yeah, alright. Come on, Sodapop. Let's find your kid brother before he gets himself in some more trouble." He'd glanced at me then just as Sodapop had stood up to follow him. "You ain't gonna hurt the kid, are you?" He'd asked me, and normally I'd be offended but I guess he had the right to ask after what I'd just told him.

"No." I'd managed to choke out. "No…I ain't gonna hurt him." Nodding, he'd thrown an arm around Sodapop and led him outside where they went to find Ponyboy.

There was a knock on the door and Pony and I both jumped. "Hey, guess who I found?" Soda was grinning in the doorway to Pony's hospital room, and I helped my little brother get another pillow behind his back so he could sit up a little. He looked awful tired and I hoped the guys wouldn't stay too long. The doctor still needed to have a look at him and I figured he'd need some kind of medicine for his hand. Probably pain meds too.

Johnny was the first one who stepped into the room after Soda, and he seemed to deflate, his shoulders relaxing as he let out a big breath. "Hey, Pony." He grinned, and Pony grinned back, relaxing as well.

"Hey. You okay?" Ponyboy asked, and Johnny sat down in the chair Soda had left open. Soda remained by the wall, grinning, and Steve joined him. Two-Bit and Dal waited in the doorway, Two looking real relieved. I guess he'd been more worried than I'd realized. Dallas, too, was smiling a little, looking between the two of them. I needed to talk to him….maybe I could get away real quick. I glanced down at Ponyboy and Johnny who were assuring each other they were okay, and Two-Bit caught my gaze and followed it to Dally.

Apparently on board to distract my little brother, he headed over as I stood, taking my chair and nodding as I clapped him on the shoulder. "Damn, kid. You two sure found yourselves in some trouble, huh?" He asked, ruffling Pony's hair. Sodapop raised his eyebrows as I stood in front of Dallas, jerking my head toward the hallway. He didn't comment though, just stayed where he was beside Steve. Dallas met my eyes, sighing in resignation, then nodded, turning and heading out to the hallway.

Sodapop and Steve had come back to the house around an hour later, and the look on Sodapop's face had made me jump up, despite how exhausted I was. "What? What's wrong?" I'd demanded, unable to ignore the fact that Pony wasn't with him. There were only so many places around town he could be.

"Johnny stabbed Bob Sheldon." Steve had told me, his own face pale. "Bob's dead…Pony was with him. No one's seen the two of them since." And it felt like I hadn't been able to breathe since...not until I'd stepped into his hospital room for the first time and he'd called my name.

"When did they come to you?" I asked Dallas once we'd stepped outside the hospital. I doubted we'd get into a real fight, but if we did, I didn't want the nurses calling the cops.

"Right after Johnny stabbed Bob. You know Bob was gonna kill Ponyboy. He was drunk and had your kid brother in the fountain…he just about drowned. I thought the kid was gonna catch pneumonia or something. Showed up at Buck's and he was soaking wet."

"You told my fourteen-year-old brother to run away and hide out in some church for a week…and you didn't tell me." My voice was surprisingly reasonable and level, but my fists were tight.

"Kid got himself involved in a murder rap, man. What, you think I should have handed him over to the fuzz?"

"I think you should have called me then kept him there until I could come pick him up." My voice was getting louder. "All week you watched us look for him. You watched me and Soda go out of our damn minds trying to find our little brother. Our fourteen-year-old baby brother who I could lose custody of at any time because he ran away from home!" I was shaking by the end, my voice so loud that a couple of people walking into the hospital paused to watch, probably thinking there was gonna be a fight. "I could lose my family because of this, do you understand that?"

"I ain't the one that hit the kid…" I hit him then. My fist was smashing into his nose before I even realized what I was doing, but even then I only felt a little sorry. He brought a hand up to his nose, swearing out loud.

"Shit! You know the kid already broke my nose, right? Damn it, Darrel." He snapped, glaring at me but not offering to retaliate as blood dripped through his fingers. "Shit, I dragged the kid out of a burning building, didn't I?"

"That's why I only hit you once." I snapped right back, still mad. I did feel a little better, though. "If he ever comes to you for something like this again, you call me, and then you tie him to a chair if you have to, you hear?" He kept swearing under his breath, his eyes watering a little, and I figured his nose would swell up even more. Maybe that would make the lesson stick. His fist was clenched like he was gonna hit me after all, and I braced myself for a fight. Then he glanced back at the hospital and sighed, rolling his eyes.

"Sure, Darrel." He nodded, holding his t-shirt to his nose. I reached into my pocket, handing him an old rag. He snatched it, holding it up to his nose, and within seconds it was soaked in blood. "I didn't mean for those two to run into that church. Your kid brother's fast, man. I tried to stop him, Dar." Knowing that was as close as I was gonna get to an apology for Dallas Winston, I nodded.

I'd tried calling him that morning, hoping he'd heard something. But all week, Dallas had been oddly absent, just shrugging when I managed to track him down. "Don't know, man. Haven't seen those kids since the movies. I think Johnny might have mentioned having family in Texas one time." Two-Bit had grabbed onto that information like a dog with a bone, but I hadn't been able to get anything else out of Dallas…not until I'd stepped into the hospital waiting room to find him and Johnny, my little brother conspicuously absent.

But he'd saved Ponyboy's life. He'd tried to look after my little brother as best as he knew how, then he'd dragged him out of a burning building. "Yeah…he's fast." I smiled a little. I doubted he'd be able to finish the track season now…I worried about that head injury, and also about his arm. It had been dislocated according to the doctor, and I knew he'd have to wear that sling for a while. No way he could run in this condition.

Dally held out a hand, lifting his eyebrows, and I sighed, shaking it. "Tie him to a chair and call me next time," I warned, and he nodded. Dallas cared about my little brother. He looked out for him and Johnny, which was the main reason I had no problem with Ponyboy hanging out with him. It the same reason I wouldn't care if he hung out with Steve more, but also why I didn't like him hanging out with Curly too much. Our gang looked out for my brother. Tim and Curly liked him well enough, and they'd have his back, but they'd probably get him into more trouble than he could ever find on his own. Our gang knew that I could lose custody if we weren't careful, so they tried to keep that in mind when they were getting themselves into trouble.

"You got it, man. Hell, I'll tie him up and carry him to your house myself." I snorted, nodding as we both headed inside.

I paused in Pony's hospital room doorway. He was still talking to Johnny, Two-Bit on his other side, and Soda and Steve were talking quietly by the door. My kid brother wasn't looking great…he was pale, his eyes kind of dull and tired looking. I wondered if he was hurting…I needed to see if he could get some pain meds or if we could give him aspirin.

My boss had called me earlier that day when I'd been on a roof, my mind, as it had been for the last couple of days, on my brother. I'd spent the last seven days desperately looking for him, going to every part of town I could think of and practically harassing Tim. My buddy was happy to help look for Pony and Johnny but even he could only look so many places. And I'd talked to the social services people at least five times in five days, but never once had I mentioned that I'd hit my little brother…Soda and I just told them that Pony and I had gotten in an argument about him coming home late.

"Curtis! Get down here!" My boss had called, and I'd looked over at the guys working around me, wondering if I'd done something wrong. Climbing down the ladder, I'd stared at my foreman who had looked pretty upset. I hadn't even known he was there…he'd been doing paperwork in the office last I'd checked and hadn't been scheduled to come to the work site that day.

"Yes, sir?" I'd asked, arms crossed, and he'd sighed.

"Just got a call from the hospital, Curtis. They've got your kid brother there. Ponyboy." I'd felt my face draining of blood and I'd fought to stay upright. "He was in a fire…you'd better go, son."

Sodapop looked between me and Dallas, eyebrows lifted, but he didn't say anything, just nodded to me, eyes lingering on Dally's bloody nose. "He doing okay?" I asked, nodding toward Ponyboy.

"I don't know. He ain't complaining but I think his head's hurting him. Probably needs some pain medicine." Steve kept quiet at Soda's side, looking kind of worried.

"Alright." I headed over to where Two-Bit was sitting, dropping a hand on his shoulder. "Hey, Pony. How you feeling, kiddo?" I asked. He blinked at me.

"Uh…I'm alright." He shrugged his left shoulder. Two-Bit quickly got the hint, leaning over and ruffling his hair.

"I think I'd better go on home, Pone. Susie's gonna be missing me."

"Sure. See you around, Two-Bit." He paused for a second, looking between Pony and Johnny, his hand on Ponyboy's head.

"I'm awful glad the two of you are okay. Next time you get into trouble, how about you come get me, huh?" He asked, glancing at Dallas and his bloody nose. "No offense, Dal." Our buddy grunted, rolling his eyes.

"You'll probably be drunk, Two." Pony teased, and I noticed our friend flinch. Two-Bit had been drunk when Sodapop had called him. He'd been drunk when he'd met the two of them at the movies.

"Don't get mouthy, kid." He warned, his voice soft as he patted his shoulder. "Johnnycakes, wanna sleep at my place? The couch is free."

"Sure." Johnny waved to my little brother, and I was sure they'd have a longer conversation when they were alone. Dallas waved goodbye to Ponyboy and headed out with Two and Johnny. Steve went over to his bed while Soda told me he was gonna get Pony's doctor or a nurse and see if they could give him something. It was after one in the morning and he was started to look pretty tired. Maybe Steve would give him a ride home.

"What's it feel like to be a hero?"

"What?" Pony asked, lifting an eyebrow at Steve, and Steve grinned.

"You know, kid, a hero. A big shot! Bet they'll write you up in the papers and everything." Pony rolled his eyes.

"I ain't a hero."

"Yeah? I'd say running into a burning building and saving a bunch of kids qualifies you for hero status." Pony shrugged again.

"They were trapped in there."

Steve reached out, ruffling Pony's hair, and my brother gave him a surprised look. Steve wasn't usually real mean to him or nothing, but they weren't exactly friends. "You ever pull a stunt like that again, I'll knock your block off, you hear? Glory, kid. You took a couple of years off my life, you know that?" Pony blinked at him.

"What? Why?"

"Shit, kid. I thought you were dead or something, disappearing like that." He grumbled, kicking my brother's bed.

"So? Least I wouldn't be around to tag along with you guys anymore." Pony joked. Steve clenched his jaw a little, shaking his head and ruffling my brother's hair.

"Don't talk like that, Ponyboy," Steve told him quietly. "Shoot, you know we wouldn't let nothing happen to you. Just don't go running into any burning buildings, okay?"

Pony gave him a little smile, nodding. "Yeah, I'll try." Steve snorted.

"Good." He turned to me. "I'll see you guys around, alright. Soda need a ride home?"

"Yeah. He's got work in the morning." I told him. "He's just getting the nurse." Pony had dropped back against the pillow, his eyes closing. Steve shot me a look.

"He gonna be okay?" Steve asked softly.

"I think so…he needs some pain meds and they're kind of worried about his head…but I think he'll be okay." He nodded, glancing back at Pony again.

"Yeah…" Soda came in then, a nurse following him, and I caught him with a hand on his shoulder.

"Hey, Pepsi-cola, you'd better go on home." He gave me a look, eyes wide.

"What? Darry I ain't…"

I shook my head. I wasn't arguing about this. "You got work in the morning, Soda. You're already gonna be tired. I'm gonna stay home tomorrow but you have to go in. We need the money." He looked over at Pony, shaking his head.

"Darry, I can't…"

"C'mon man." Steve urged, his hand on Soda's shoulder. The nurse was putting something into Pony's IV and asking him something I couldn't quite hear. He nodded, rubbing his eyes and she started unwrapping his hand. "You can see him tomorrow. The kid's gonna be fine." He sighed, giving me another pleading look I ignored, and then went over to Ponyboy, leaning over and saying something I didn't hear. I waited where I was until he leaned over, kissing Ponyboy on his head and then heading out. I patted him on the back as he passed, then sat down beside Ponyboy as the nurse was leaving. She'd rewrapped his hand and he was pretty pale, laying back on the pillows.

"Hey, kiddo. You feeling alright?" He nodded.

"You can go home if you need to." I shook my head.

"No way, kiddo." I rubbed his head. "I am gonna see if they can bring in a cot or something."

"You can sleep here if you want. I can scoot over." He offered, moving over toward the side of the bed where his IV pole stood, and, figuring it would be better than the chair, I flipped off the light, climbing into bed beside him and putting an arm around him when he curled up against me, his head against my shoulder.

We were quiet for a moment, then I rubbed his back, my forehead against the top of his head. "Hey Pony?" I murmured, not wanting to wake him if he was already asleep.

"Hmm?" He asked, and I pulled the blanket up around his shoulders.

"I'm…I'm real sorry. For Friday night. I…glory, I never meant to hurt you."

He was quiet for a second, then nodded. "I know, Dar. I knew you didn't mean it."

"I still shouldn't have…"

"It's fine, Darry." He told me, and I heard a smile in his voice. Being careful of his arm, I hugged him for a second.

"I love you so much, kiddo." I murmured into his hair, and he hugged me back as best he could.

"I love you too, Darry."

The End

**Thank you for reading!**


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